I think I saw the novel version of it printed in Chinese when I went to China in '05. I find it difficult to read tragedies, but I wonder why I hadn't already read it. My goodness. It was so good. I cried through the latter half. Even if plots driven by diseases and tragic romance are still used too frequently, I'm completely enthralled by them. They're definitely quite a change from the mahou shoujo/romance comedy plots with which I amuse myself on a daily basis. :x I mean, one could argue they're more "real," but then again, are they really? Idealized, short-lived romances?

It seems like it would be impossible to move on, but it's not.

*sigh*

It's a stark contrast from Little Butterfly and other series I've been reading for "eyecandy."

In other news, today wasn't the best. I got to work early for a training session. I misread a problem even though our instructor specifically told us to watch out and read that problem carefully. I feel like a dunce. xD

My mom's friend treated me out to sushi for lunch, and in exchange, umm... yeah, it felt like I was giving a strange college counseling session. XP Applying to college isn't something parents should get all worked up for. Let your kids apply where they want to and don't be helicopter parents!

Then I was... um... well, so the system messed up. I entered the right number. Somehow, I feel like I'm being blamed for something that was out of my control. I went out of my way to find help, but I was given poor advice by a "specialist." -_- I'm not too familiar with the system, but please don't repeat a question while sounding anguished over my stupidity or something. What on earth was the purpose for asking if I was disabled over the telephone? And the lady kept on asking me if I worked from home... Was I that suspicious or something? I'm still new to this! Give me a break! Jeez. Sure, I'm not worth your time.

Then I was supposed to leave with my mom, but I got a call from my supervisor, so I stayed and talked to her. I'm upset. I asked my mom to wait for me, but she wasn't willing to. She had to pick my brother up from his friend's house. Then she went to McDonalds, and she said, rather than waiting for me to make my trek outside (since she couldn't enter the facility what with my brother being in the car), she'd go home and then get me.

Seriously. I hated going to that "thing" called "daycare." I hated it when people stole my money or threw my book in an unused trailer. This happened during "daycare" at a Catholic school. Hahahaha. WTF right?

I had to go because my mom had to work. Even during finals week, when I got off at noon (in high school), my parents were reluctantly picking me up.

But now? My brother gets off from school. He can endure the shitty 45 minute bus ride like me. Instead, my mom picks him up early or he goes to play at a friend's house. That is so unfair.

Since my mom had decided to take my brother home, and then reluctantly come back (you can tell from her voice), I decided that I'd just blow off steam taking the bus home.

Oh great. That only took an hour and 15 minutes. >_>; It brought back a lot of memories too; I took the same bus I used to take to get home form high school. Bitter memories.

I'm feeling really pissed off. Why is this week going so badly? I know it partially has to do with my attitude towards this week. All this negativity is doing me no good, but there's still something really off.

In conclusion? This week sucks. Yay!

[will continue to edit]

1/3 Kareshi

こいごころ・せんぷくちゅう

花にアラシ

真空融接

This post is going to be purposely vague.

Because I need to vent on some matters, and there are some things I won't post on LJ (f-locked, private, or the likes isn't good enough).

I'm frustrated. Now I kind of understand why people talk about taking things out on the messenger. Poor messenger! On the bright side, the messenger can learn from this and become better at his job in the future. But why did it have to get to this in the first place? I don't get it! Okay, so the messenger isn't doing anything too err this != thats. Originally, the messenger thought (s)he'd be doing more of that.

People skills. It's all about having amazing people skills and being able to talk through stuff.

Yep.

52 grades are in. I am very very very pleased. Although... meh, I'm still terribly sore about some things... I did gain a lot of experience from taking that class though~ And I was fond of a lot of people taking the class (fond as in yaay~ I got to talk to people and make new friends :o). Others... well..., I made some crappy decisions.

I haven't seen Shoon in anything lately, so watching a recent clip made me happy. n_n He sounds older too~ Uwah~ Like Toma or Yamapi 2 or 3 years ago~~ Even though he's only one? two? years older than me. I'm sad that a lot of Yax3 fans have switched over to the whole HSJ fandom. I'm still biased. I can't believe Johnny broke up Yax3 to form HSJ. And he left my two favorite members out! D:

Micky and Jaejoong single coming out soon! WHAAAAT?! *O* They're probably also my favorite TVXQ members (as much as I love fangirling over JaeHo - heck Dangerous Love was one of the first things I watched when I got into TVXQ sometime after Rising Sun came out in Japan; I also ship JaeChun xD... but seriously!, one day, I'll get around to reading a translation of Gashiyeon. :o - even though I've heard it's umm... and I don't really read fics.). Junsu's cute, and Yunho's well, leader-samaaa~ Everyone says Changmin's good looking IRL, but sadly, I pay attention to him the least. >.<

On that note, Kpop fandom is scary. :o I feel bad for ever having stalkerish tendencies LOL, as much as I'd love to be friends with certain people. T_T >> refers you to http://community.livejournal.com/dbsg/3882682.html?style=mine if you're a member of the TVXQ LJ comm.

IMO, TVXQ and THSK are like two completely different bands. Granted, the first song I listened to was their Japanese Rising Sun, I consider TVXQ exclusively Korean (which might be strange, considering how much I love everything Japanese). To some extent TVXQ did get me more into Korean fandoms~ (and a lot more Kpop). I'm fine with them concentrating on one particular region over another... I just can't imagine how worked up fans can get.

I meant to mention this yesterday, but Koukou Debut reminds me a lot of ISWAK, except the main character isn't the smartest person in school. The coolest?

When I bought several shikishi in bulk one year, I wondered why regular grocery stores carried them. Signing boards/autograph boards. What purpose did they have outside of cons and meetings with famous people? I had all of my friends sign one of mine for my last birthday party in high school. I dropped it while cleaning last summer, so now one of the corners is kind of messed up. ~_~;; But! I just thought... why not? I've seen guests sign in at large parties... I just considered it a way to remember all of the people who cared enough to come (who I thought I was close to. o_o). Yosegaki! There's a term for it? Except I don't do the asking lol... *fail*

Graduation and buttons. I think I first noticed it in ISWAK (or some other drama). Reading KKD (every time I type that, I think of KKJ...) reminded me of it. I talk about White Day every year~ but I think that whole ask the guy you like for his second button on junior/high school graduation scenario is also very cute. Why can't people do that here? ;_;

That is all.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20090712/sc_livescience/swearingmakespainmoretolerable

I always found it amusing when people would comment on my increased swearing as I became more frustrated with my 52 project last term. I have no issues with people shouting explicitives to relieve their frustration, as long as the words aren't directed at anyone in particular.

I went to some Christian middle school. Sometime around 3rd grade, people started using the "middle finger." I don't even remember when I found it what it actually meant. x_x But, just picture a bunch of 3rd graders pointing their middle fingers at the ground (devil?), not knowing exactly what on earth they were doing. Oh dear. Why on earth did I suddenly remember that?

I'm agnostic, so meh. I'm not sure what attending Methodist/Catholic schools for the first half of my life really helped to accomplish. Just be true to yourself, and do what you think is right. Seriously, what is wrong with the world? @_@ Maybe I was just being ignorant, but why have all of the news articles been so depressing lately? They make me cry inside. TT.TT

I feel like making a long entry. I think I always do something like this after I marathon some series. This time, it was Kare Kano. I wish my life could be more like some cutesy shoujo/josei manga. T.T Why do you feel suddenly "enlightened" about yourself from reading a manga? x_x It's so pathetic, no? Haha.

I seem particularly attached to series like Kare Kano and Nodame (even though they're not the most related series you could come across, reading Kare Kano reminded me so much of Nodame~ even more than of Hana Yori Dango and Hana Kimi :o).

But goodness!

Reading it made me realize that... even though I'm about to enter my first year of college, I still feel like I just started my first year of high school. I haven't really grown up. Why do all of these manga characters feel like they're so much older than me? I mean, that's what I thought when I was reading manga in junior high. 4 years have passed, and I'm still at this stage. x_x

It's like... Some of the older kids in junior high used to make fun of me for my last name. Nobody told me why. They'd just laugh and make up some lame excuse. I found out right before entering high school. But, back then, although I guess I was "innocent," I felt like I belonged with everyone else. I had friends. Or I thought I did. I really don't understand how quickly I lost touch with everyone (so it was great to see a few people from junior high at AX this year) when high school came along. I don't know... I felt comfortable around those people.

Then came high school. It kind of felt like I just closed myself off to everyone. I mean, I really tried hard to fit in. I was sort of bullied freshman year. Thank goodness that nasty girl got kicked out of school. Seriously. T.T It was slightly better in sophomore year. I had made friends. I wasn't too close to people. When robotics came along, I thought that I finally had found the best high school friends ever. Hah. That was pretty gosh darn wrong. In the end, I really didn't gain much from high school. I think I kind of lost myself and became so engrossed in studying and work... I'm such a workaholic. I've always been, but I mean... when everyone else was out partying, I was just kind of stuck... working... Not that I particularly wanted to. Damn. I wasted the 4 years I spent in high school.

I kind of regret choosing to try? to get closer to a select group of friends. They never really accepted me. Or, they did, but, it felt kind of shallow, you know? I know who my high school friends in high school were. They still occasionally respond to my FB wall posts, talk to me on AIM, or just message me/post on my wall on FB. Others, well, I don't think I've talked to them since graduation. -_- Or if I have, that was just by some coincidental meeting.

I'm so grateful to the friends that say the occasional "what's up?", "let's hang out!" to me on AIM/FB (funny how social networking sites have become the best means for people to stay in contact). Even if I don't always respond! (I'm so sorry!). So grateful to the friends that call me or text me to give me their new cell phone #'s because they still want to remain in contact~ or come and drop off a small Christmas present. Heck, one of my friends even sent me a Cal shirt last summer. :D

That aside, I had parties. I loved inviting people. I found it disgusting when people decided not to come last minute because they suddenly made plans to hang out with other people... or when people invited (or even pushed for me to invite) other people... or when people would only attend when x person attended... That was rude, yo!

But then, I went to maybe 3? 4? parties in high school? Hahahahaha. I felt so excluded. You have no idea.

I hated seeing those Facebook photos that everyone posted. Like, why wasn't I invited? I thought I was his/her friend! T_T

Damn. Why am I getting so emo over this? It's no big deal.

I guess life kind of stopped in high school. I really wish I enjoyed being a child more. T_T I feel like I wasted the last 4 years of my life. Sure, I thought my high school teachers could be like family~ but the atmosphere wasn't right. Not right for studying, not right for anything... really?

I think that's the problem with the American education system, and America as a whole. There's just not enough breadth. There's not enough culture, tradition? People live too far away from each other. You lose that whole family-like, supportive atmosphere that I think kids in other countries are able to enjoy. Even if everything's overly exaggerated in manga/drama/anime or whatever... you still get a taste of what we're missing over here. Culture festivals, class trips... I think that's what it means to bond! That's what's really needed. T_T Not some weaksauce trip to the mall. What a poor excuse to hang out. I mean, at least elsewhere, you're hanging out while also immersing yourself in culture and tradition? You're learning something! It's so exciting and new. You learn to work with people... It just feels so much more diverse; far less frustrating. Communities feel like they're much closer.

Student council roles seem to be much more important. You know? That's what I imagine high school life being. You study, but you're also able to really enjoy being around people. That's why I kind of feel like my first year in college seemed more like the ideal high school life. Sure, I wanted to slap myself silly over my 52 project. I worked more than I have ever worked in my entire life. But whenever I had those opportunities to hang out with people, they were right around the corner, cooking together, getting ready to work on a set together, etc. That's what I cal real friendship bonding! T.T Exploring the tunnels--tradition? :3 Even though you're not really supposed to... Knowing that people will IM you and ask you to go out to eat with them...

Gosh, I'm really happy I have the friends I currently have. Maybe this is my high school dream.

Well, so maybe not all of my friendships turned out to be that smooth, even in college, but I guess that comes with life.

I really wish every day could be like some funky happy J-drama/manga. Seriously. Wishful/childish thinking to the point that it's ridiculous, I know, but that's why I like going to Disneyland and going to AX so often. I know life in Japan is really stressful. That's what Mari told me when I talked with her at AX. Well, you could tell that it was stressful, but like... you still had that kind of ray of hope? So many people with such creative imaginations! T.T

Seriously, Los Angeles is so boring. There's just nothing going on. What crazy dreams?

;_;

I'm being incoherent again, aren't I?

I hate that I lost my junior high entries. I think I wrote about some precious moments in them. T_T Friends who worked out problems~ friends who still care. <3

Yes, that's what I've been thinking about since I read Kare Kano. :o That, and, well *blush* relationships? I've liked several guys in the past. I still can't really imagine what that special someone will eventually be like. I guess I'll be artificial outright and sav that I hope he's pretty! <3 hahaha *fangirl side kicking in* Someone with long fingers maybe :o (pretty asian pianists/violinist? :o) xD I dunno~ someone with a lot of ambition, who's also very innovative and imaginative. Someone who's not afraid of being apart for some time~ who likes to have his own space and will respect that I like to have my own~ who will hold onto me, but who is also willing to let me have my freedom~ strong? shiny? xD

I dunno. someone who really understands me. I think that's been the biggest problem. Though, I am surprised at the few friends I have that really do seem to understand me. Maybe it's just because they're the people I instinctively go to when I'm upset. :o Haha. I'm sorry if you're irritated at my immaturity. T_T

Yep. I always say I wish I have that special person to rant and cry to... but it's just really hard to cry to someone you really like. It's frustrating. I feel like I want some other way out.

I don't know.

I hope this isn't some deep, personal entry that is better off F-locked. I'm even kind of curious if any of my FB friends will read this. Haha. Well, if you do end up reading this entry, then you're probably one of my uber awesome friends that I really do love and cherish! <3

I'm just a silly little girl who hasn't really grown up since middle school. *sigh*

And Kare Kano? Well, I actually didn't cry much while reading this. I usually cry a lot, but I thought it was a great story. Maybe I have changed in the way I react to reading things. ^^; Nah. The story's complete. It's practically perfect. It wasn't too over the top. Okay, so the epilogue was weak... but it felt kind of real. I put off reading it for probably around 5 years. I'm glad I did read it though! I still think that if there ever is a Kare Kano drama, Ueno Juri and Tamaki Hiroshi would be perfect. :3

So in the end, I still enjoy talking with some of my friends about her err... interest in German movies. We call them porn, when they're really not. (No really, I'm still just your innocent little girl!). Eh, explicit scenes that serve artistic purpose don't really bug me. We watched some great movies. I loved cracking up over my friend's suggested American translation of the King and the Clown (ohh Lee Junki <3)-- The King and His Male Concubine~

Going out to the seafood restaurant with everything~ Staying out at like 3 AM up in the quiet box until my cold got worse... x_x

High school life, but in college. :3

And seeing so many people from junior high/high school/college at AX. :o Amazinggg! Of course, meeting new people at AX, and talking to all of my online friends. :3

Those are the memories.

Finally, an entry that doesn't involve some kind of FB meme. o_o

Quick Fandom updates (SPOILER WARNING):

- Noda-chan and Chiaki are finally back. I'm so excited! I want to see MegumixShinichi raburabu. xD I'm so confused about her status at the conservatory. @_@ But she got to perform! And I hope Chiaki accepts her proposal sometime soon. (Noda~~ you can't say no now!) I'm really glad Ninomiya-sensei is back and well.
- NANA D: It's so slow right now! I'm dying to know what's going to happen to poor Nana. T_T Oh Ren, how you failed at life. T_T Hachi, you're hardly any help. >_>; Too much Takumi on your mind (although I can't really blame you, no?)
- Shaman King (O_O) Horohoro, my dear Horohoro, that was such a tear-jerking chapter (at least for me) Kororo <3
- Naruto. I wonder if Pein and Naruto are going to reconcile soon. Then I bet Madara's going to come stomping in. Then you have Sasuke... Itachi did not die just to protect that loser Sasuke. >_>;;; ahhh Poor Kakashi. T.T
- Bleach. Whoa! Ulquiorra! Please live. T_T Crazy looking Ichigo, and does that mean Ishida's going to be... D:
- Bakuman (!) - Very entertaining, really light manga. Ashirogi Muto, ganbatte!
- New Tenipuri - still waiting. D: But Ryoma + Seigaku = win! Stick in Atobe somewhere. xD
- Goong - I was reading some spoilers a couple weeks ago, and it looks like things are finally starting to work out. <3 Shin x Chae. I really wish there had been a Goong season 2.
- Loveless - I'm so confused. @_@ Too few pages every chapter ;_; Soubi x Ritsuka-chan. Then what's going to happen to Yuiko and Kio? :o
- DNAngel - still on hiatus. T.T But I'm happy with how Sugisaki-sensei ended the Argentine arc.
-Fullmetal Alchemist - Hoenheim-papa + Edward + crazy stuff and a new anime coming out *o*

Jpop & Kpop & Cons & Concerts :x
- I got to see Hikki, and I managed to get Boa's autograph - sort of. :x SS501 is coming to HB, but as of right now, I have no one to go with me. Arghhh... I'm still sort of e-m-o about missing Lang Lang's concert. Morning Musume's coming to AX, and I've already pre-regged for that. I really need to find something to keep me busy this summer. Comic Con badges sure are selling out quickly. o_o And I heard An Cafe is coming to Cali for a few concerts. I wish I could see TVXQ in Japan.

Anime & Drama

I was going to catch up on Korean Boys Over Flowers, but that hasn't happened yet. =\ I suddenly really really want to watch Last Christmas again. And tomorrow's the Gundam 00 S2 Finale (can't wait!) I hope Setsuna pwns Ribbons. And I hope Tieria respawns or something. o_O

Now onto the real reason for this post:

Week(s) in review! I just have to say now that I think this has been the BEST vacation (spring break, winter break, summer break) I have had in ages and ages. <33 Overall, I mean. I still think hanging out with my cousins at Disneyland hasn't been topped (in terms of individual best days of my life xD) So much to do~ So little time to be bored~ And I got to hang out with uber awesome new friends. Tomodachi-ban ban rabu rabu. xD

And this is why I wish I could've posted things sooner. T.T *tries to recall*

I managed to get my code working sometime in the early hours of Saturday morning (Yes, I think it was around 2 AM, no?) I hadn't eaten. My friend picked up my physics quiz for me. I had been in the room since Friday morning or afternoon (I don't really remember, but we didn't have class, since it was the start of finals week). Of course, I wasn't aware that she had done so, so I panicked and e-mailed the head TA about not finding my quiz. >.< Then, since I hadn't eaten all day, I walked to the C-store... only to find that it was closed. Ahh~~ Bad tyming (as I feel like spelling it). I should eat more when I'm in Moore. I forget to eat, and then I feel absolutely pathetic. Catalina gave me a fruit rollup thing, and I can remember it tasting as good as seared tuna xD.

Then I did practically nothing until I went around to Dabney and Page, asking if people wanted to go to Cheesecake Factory. <3 It was definitely worth it. *o*

I think we went in a group of 10 (= extra gratuity), but it worked out in the end. I was ridiculously indecisive, and the person at the desk said we could split up into 2 groups of 5, but I guess it wouldn't be as fun. T.T So she said we could come back in an hour and she would keep our reservation.

First, we went clothing shopping. H&M had this really cute hairband (headband? what are they called?)... Frilly black ribbon. You know, gothic lolita-esque. Note to self: look for a tie on Soompi. xD

Then Forever21... Oh, that's what I wanted to show them. My hat. :o Gone With the Wind~~~

Random digression: KCET Vienna performance. I want to go! *O*

Vienna, all of Japan, Seoul, Aussieland, and somewhere good to see the aurora borealis. Must visit. <3

/digression

I had seared tuna (ahi tuna salad or something). I love their sauce. Really, in that case, the sauce made all the difference. Then I ordered a $25 cheesecake. :x In the end, I spent around $46 on food that night. x_x We walked back, got Jamba Juice (Mango-a-go-go mmm <3), wandered around Paseo, and... most everyone was too full to come and eat cheesecake. Nooo~~ But Brian and Wubing came. xD

Gundams and figures and playing tennis with flat tennis balls (or, in my case, failing at tennis)...


tbc

If anyone wants to read a cute, but short (6 chapters), romance manga, I suggest Love Luck. xD Definitely quite the contrast from Antique Bakery. o_o

I like close-knit communities. >.< But I guess they're kind of a thing of the past in America, or at least in most of its larger cities. ._. Oh Japaan~

Yes, sappy rabu rabu stories. CYUTE! Ahhhh >_<

Manga Mitaina Koishitai! <3

So, winter break series:
Worlds Within (which ironically is being played on US television right now... or maybe not ironically) - completed 
Gundam Wing Endless Waltz - rewatch Japanese/English subbed
Gundam 00 - S1 & S2
Cardcaptor Sakura - End of Clow Card, all of Sakura Card episodes + 2nd movie English subbed
Love Hina Again (lol.....)
The usual Naruto, Bleach, Bakuman
Shinshi Doumei Cross extra chapter
Antique Bakery
Love luck
Manga Mitaina Koishitai + Zoku
Tonari no Hijiri-kun
Kurumi-tic Miracle
Tonari no Inuyama-kun
Kimi to Scandal
Gakuran Ouji
Angel Koita
Glittering X-mas Story 2003
Bloody Kiss (Vampire stories aren't usually my cup of tea, but... *o*)
Kon no Ki Konoha (so sad ;_;)
Mikan no Tsuki
Hidarite no Love Letter
Tenjou no Kajitsu
Caramel Milk Tea
Kimi wa Girlfriend
Shuukatsu Kimi ni Naitei - perfect.

EDIT EDIT EDIT: Despite the strange title, Bloody Kiss is really a very cute series @_@ ! I so wouldn't mind having a vampire boyfriend like that. <3

I am addicted to Yagami Chitose series. ._.

EDIT ^2: Must read: Earl and Fairy